Two Minutes to a Better Relationship
Did you know it takes 90 seconds for stress hormones to leave your body?
Neuroanatomist, Dr Jill Bolte Taylor’s research indicates that, “When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there’s a 90-second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.”
Notice the word choosing. At any given moment YOU have the choice to let difficult emotions go and they can dissipate in 90 seconds.
Dr.Taylor’s research suggests that mindfulness – the practice of bringing your attention to your present moment experience without judgment – can help emotions move through you quickly.
Here’s how to move through difficult emotions in your relationship using three steps.
If you’re feeling any difficult emotions in your relationship try this.
- Pause and identify the emotion
- Breathe deeply and label the emotion and
- Observe the emotion without trying to change it
IDENTIFY THE EMOTION (PAUSE)
It’s common for emotions to start out as a physical response. For example, anger may present itself as agitation, a tight chest or stomach, rapid heartbeat, restlessness, feeling hot or sweaty.
So, ask yourself, “What’s going on in my body? What am I thinking right now?”
LABEL THE EMOTION (BREATHE)
Name the emotion you are feeling and try do it neutrally without judgment.
Most emotions fall into the categories of mad, bad, sad or glad.
It’s ok and common to have more than one feeling at the same time. Not knowing how you feel is also common and if you find yourself not knowing try to choose one of the categories. The goal is to create self-awareness so eventually you become skilled at being aware of your negative feelings so you can let them go in 90 seconds.
OBSERVE THE EMOTION (BREATHE)
Take a moment, breathe, and really notice what is taking place inside of you. Allow yourself to feel the emotion without judgement. It’s important to allow the emotion; don’t try to stop or magnify the emotion; just observe it in your body. Feelings surge through us like waves and Dr Taylor’s research indicates that the wave process has a biochemical lifespan of about 90 seconds. Less than half the time it takes to sing a song.
NEED SOME SUPPORT?
The beautiful “Take Two – Two minutes to a better relationship” mobile app supports your relationship by offering a two-minute PAUSE, BREATHE, RELAX sequence coupled with personalised inspirations, wisdom and advice from Psychologist to Relationship experts. Research shows that building new habits is easier when you do it with others.
Download the app and connect with others who are wanting to keep their relationship healthy. Share your inspirational quotes with your loved ones.
Show up daily, be patient, loving and kind with yourself by focusing on progress, not perfection.